Twelve Step Reflections

It’s Never Too Late, But It’s Also Never Too Early

August 13, 2008 by Nannette Wiggins 1 Comment

I know it’s never too late to apply the principles of recovery and healing to our lives, but I also believe that it’s never too early. My granddaughter Eliza went through a tantrum phase that had us all baffled. One day she was spending the afternoon with me when she had occasion (and any occasion would do) to come apart at the seams. I sent her to a room to cool down.

After a few minutes I walked into the room and found a little girl full of remorse. “Grandma, I’m sorry. I won’t ever, ever, ever have a fit like that again.” Seeing my opportunity, I said, “Eliza, that’s not true. You have been trying and trying to fix this problem for a long time, and no matter how many promises you make or how many prizes you earn, you always do it again. You know what? You can’t fix this by yourself, but there is someone who can give you the power to change.”

Right there in the nursery, I sat with a four-year-old and explained that because of Jesus and His suffering, we can ask Heavenly Father to change our hearts and give us the power to change the way we act. Then we had a little prayer together and asked God to give Eliza the power to stop doing something that was destructive to her four-year-old self. We appealed to the Lord for the same enabling power that the recovering addict seeks every new day.

This life is full of opportunities to be with, play with, teach, serve and influence little children. Maybe the greatest service we can offer is to help them understand and act upon the truth that they are never alone when it comes to solving even the most child size problems of life. I want to remember that the grace of God is not just for grown people with big problems. I don’t have to wait until it’s a matter of life and death to share the availability of God with even my youngest heavenly brothers and sisters.

By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, August 13, 2008

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The High Price of Forgetting – Addiction: The Destructive Substance or Behavior I Consistently Turn To Instead of Turning to God

August 3, 2008 by Nannette Wiggins 2 Comments

In The Book of Mormon 1 Nephi 7:11 Nephi asks his brothers, “How is it that ye have forgotten…?” I think it’s so funny that this verse is numbered 7:11 like that “convenience” store we find ourselves walking into for a quick fix, the thing we have forgotten. We kick ourselves as we drive to the mini meet all needs quickly and at any time of day store, in a panic, wondering how we neglected to purchase some important item during our weekly grocery-buying excursion. We use or nearly use Nephi’s very words. Perhaps in a less scriptural way we say to ourselves, “How did you forget?” There we are in the middle of the night paying three times the price for half as much. That’s usually how it is when we forget and want to fix the problem fast. The price exacted by the opportunist who is ready to meet the immediate needs of the forgetful is high.

It’s the same with spiritual forgetfulness too. Often when we forget our God and the things He has taught us in the past, we end up in a mess and feel the need to get ourselves out of it quickly and without too much effort, pain or embarrassment. So, we end up turning to sources that seem convenient but cost us too much in integrity, relationship with God and actual progress. We settle for the immediate and very high priced offer.

The good old fashioned, time tested ingredients for receiving direction, power, real peace, lasting joy and continued growth are always available but not always convenient. They can be had “without money and without price” but always require the surrender of my selfish, impatient, prideful nature as I humble myself and come unto Christ by kneeling by my bed, opening my scriptures, sharing with a friend, recording my feelings in my journal, attending my meetings etc. The next time I find cause to ask myself, “Nannette, how is it the ye have forgotten?” The first thing I need to remember is that when it comes to my spiritual needs there is no 7-11.

By Nannette W.
Written August 2, 2008
Posted August 3, 2008

The Dailies – Daily Devotion or Daily Deception?

August 2, 2008 by Nannette Wiggins Leave a Comment

The Dailies – Those things we do each day that help us access the knowledge and power needed to do God’s will are sometimes referred to in addiction recovery, as The Dailies. As I was raising my children I encouraged them to make such things as prayer, scripture study, and journal keeping a part of their daily routine, hoping they might form a habit in their youth that would bless them in the future. My kids used to play a game with me in regard to their own dailies, especially in the summer time. In the late evening, after they were tired from a day of fun in the sun, I would say, “It’s quiet reading time (time to read a book, read scripture, write in a journal, and pray).” Often the reply was, “Oh, I want to do those things in the morning.” The response to my morning re-invitation was the desperate plea for play now and the very sincere promise to read and write later. “Please, please mom! I promise I’ll do it tonight!”

It wasn’t too many days into the summer or into the years of motherhood before I became wise to this particular dance with integrity. After this pattern was repeated morning and evening for a few days and the evidence was clear, I would confront the children with their self-deception. Then I would to try to help them see that they were only fooling themselves, and that this time with the Lord was not something to avoid because great blessings would come into their daily lives as a result of consistent connection with God through study and prayer.

The Lord brought this little piece of family history to my remembrance just this week. I was battling in my mind over the fact that I had slept through the time I have committed to the dailies. I had once again stayed in bed and said to myself (the prideful name I use for God when I want to imagine that He is out and about and not listening), “I’ll pray and study later.” And about midday when life crowded in on my weak commitment to later, I imagined how I might possibly conclude the evening with devotion to and communication with my Heavenly Father and His Son. But alas, with the setting of the sun, weariness overtook me, and I became full of resolve for early morning “quiet study time.”

Somewhere in the middle of this delusional cycle the Lord used the vision of the past parent/ child experience to convict His own little girl (me). I guess He felt that the pattern had been repeated morning and evening long enough and that the evidence was clear, so He confronted me with my own self-deception. He is obviously not fooled. I believe he is very aware of my pitiful lack of integrity.

I don’t want to play this game with the Lord any more. I can’t imagine saying to Him, day after dishonest day, “We’ll talk in the morning.” And then when morning comes, “Hey, how about we try to connect tonight.” But that’s exactly what I do! I will never be the winner of this game of self-deceit. Prayer, prayerful scripture study, and making a record of the impressions that come through His Spirit are gifts of communication from Him to me. He is the prize I avoid. Relationship with Him is the reward I run from. To win is to connect every day all day by coming unto Him through the dailies.

By Nannette W.
Written Thursday, February 8, 2007
Posted Saturday, August 2, 2008

Maybe Progress is Perfection

August 2, 2008 by Nannette Wiggins Leave a Comment

Today as I walked into school I was met with true elation. Five-year-old Ethan ran into my arms ecstatic over an event that had just occurred at recess. Jake, his hero, his older by 6 years and a near home school graduate had spent the thirty minute brake preparing Ethan to have a “first.” “Grandma, Grandma, I caught my first ball from far away! A baseball! I can’t believe it!” The event was so joyous to Ethan that he told his Heavenly Father about it during the home school closing prayer. Right after “Thanks that we could learn about Abraham” and before “Thanks for recess” Ethan thanked God for the monumental catch.

There was another “first” today, for Kylee. Age five is so full of them. The little band of learners had been challenged to express on paper, at their own one room schoolhouse level, the definition of the word covenant. There was a scurry as the children each worked to express theirs thoughts in sentences, or a few simple words, or with a simple drawing of a child and a Heavenly Father, together, making an agreement. Suddenly and unexpected a little girl squealed out with joy, “That’s the first word I ever spelled all by myself.” Words cannot do justice to the sound of her voice and the look on her face. It was so stunning a moment that all work ceased and all attention turned to her moment of joyful success. With eyes aglow and a smile extended to maximum she exclaimed, “I spelled the word ‘promise’ all by myself!”

How far was Ethan from the ball he caught. I don’t know. I only know that is was his best catch yet. I do however know a little more about the spelling of Kylee’s word. My adult curiosity got the best of me and during the excitement I snuck close enough to catch a peek at the celebrated word. Thinking that her excitement came over spelling the word perfectly I was taken back as I looked at the word on the paper. Promise spelled “parmas.” This was the first word she had ever attempted to sound out and put on paper…. and we were all there. A kind of joyful awe seemed to fill the space.

Kylee and Ethan know something that I’ve forgotten. I’m afraid I have a few too many years under my belt. For them progress is perfection. It’s the next perfection for them, and that is all that matters. In the moment of taking a brand new step forward there is no comparing, down playing or wishing for more, only joy and appreciation. The next time I take a mini step forward in some aspect of living I want to celebrate like a child, like it’s the biggest deal ever, because it is! It’s my biggest deal ever! Any progress is my next perfection.

AA Slogan- “We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.” (Alcoholics Anonymous 60)

LDS Scripture – “… I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little…” (Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 28:30)

By Nannette W.
Written Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Posted Saturday August 2, 2008

Who Me Lord? Service with a Smile! – Recovery Action Step 12 : Service

July 31, 2008 by Nannette Wiggins Leave a Comment

Last Sunday I witnessed a scene that is familiar to me, only this time with new eyes. A father, tenderly carried a brand new little lady all dressed in white, to the front of the chapel. It was her blessing day. Joining them were all those men who had been called and invited to participate in blessing the newest soul in our ward family. There was a little hold up as the mother of the baby walked up to the circle and whispered something to her husband. The father motioned to someone in the congregation and immediately a priesthood holder stood up, walked forward and entered the circle. This brother was all smiles, obviously pleased at being included. Then the father and each brother placed one hand on the tiny blessing receiver and rested the other on the shoulder of the brother at his side. Forming a circle with the father speaking for the Lord the little one was the recipient of her first blessing.

As I watched this sweet scene it became more to me than one more baby blessing. I felt like I was witnessing the symbol of something bigger. It was the picture of perfect service, filled with the joy of being invited to take part, great love and hope for the one in need of blessing, and all the dignity that should surround participation with God. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the everyday call to serve, the ordinary call to bless always felt like an honor, an opportunity to assist God’s child no matter the earthly age or station, and the grand experience of gathering around and connecting with others in fellowship with Jesus Christ.

Next time I’m sitting in the back of life’s room and God gives me the “high sign” in one way or another and invites me into His circle I want to step up and walk forward immediately, all smiles, all grateful and honored by His asking!

By Nannette W.
Written November 18, 2006
Posted Friday, July 31, 2008