Twelve Step Reflections

Living in the Wilderness – Step 1

September 6, 2008 by Nannette Wiggins Leave a Comment

In the opening scene of the Book of Mormon the Lord told Lehi He wanted him to take his family and leave Jerusalem. Lehi didn’t sit around wondering if this was a “command command” or just a divine suggestion. It was God’s will. That’s all he needed to know. They left Jerusalem and moved to an unpredictable, frightening place where the elements of survival were out of human control. It was there they learned life’s most important lesson. They learned to rely entirely upon the Lord in every facet of living!

At some time everyone on this earth is commanded or invited or placed in the wilderness. It may not be a wilderness with “lions and tigers and bears, oh my”, but it is a place or circumstance where the things we are use to depending on are no longer available or effective and we have to rely wholly on the Lord. In order to survive we have to seek to know His will, and then do His will. The strength to act comes directly from Him. When we live this way in the wilderness we not only survive, we thrive and we come to know our Savior Jesus Christ.

Most of us only venture into the wilderness when the call is obvious and we are seemingly without a choice, when catastrophe strikes; death, financial ruin, incarceration, loss of relationships, life threatening illness. But most of us keep our big toe in Jerusalem where our treasures are, the treasures we figured would see us through anything (money, position, organization, personality, education, our own strength, friends etc) and when the traumatic experience ends we move back to Jerusalem. But Jerusalem is coming down.

We think that this “Jerusalem” where we are seemingly in charge is the great reality, but this is not so. In Lehi’s vision we are taught that we all agreed to follow the Lord to “a dark and dreary waste.” That sounds like the wilderness to me. The greater reality is that we are already in the wilderness and have only to acknowledge it, take His hand and allow Him to lead us to a place of promises, a state were we keep our promises to Him and He keeps His promises to us. That’s the Promised Land! It is a place of covenants, of love and of complete dependence on Jesus Christ. Its glory and power and greatness surpass all, and the joy of remaining in this place is divine. Being in the wilderness with the Lord was and is the ultimate classroom.

By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, September 6, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” – Fellowship: Meetings and the Help of Trusted Support People

September 5, 2008 by Nannette Wiggins 2 Comments

The rhyme “No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” is a favorite among all the little kids in my world. For those of you who don’t know, it starts out, “Five little monkeys jumping on a bed. One fell off and broke (or “bumped” depending upon the rendition) his head. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said, ‘No more monkeys jumping on the bed.” It goes on to tell the story of the four that were left and how they learned absolutely nothing from the one who is now under a doctor’s care. One by one they mindlessly take up jumping again. One by one they repeat the experience of the first little monkey until all of them have been carried off on a stretcher and there are literally, “No more monkeys jumping on the bed!” Why? Because there are no more monkeys left! One day I was singing this song with a group of kids I care a lot about and the thought came to me, “You know Nannette, there’s a message here!”

One blessing of attending recovery meetings and seeking out and working with the support of those who have personally applied the 12 Steps, is the opportunity to learn from the experience of others. And what experience do we share? We share what life was like for us when we refused countless times to learn from the suffering of others and the resulting fall that broke our bodies, our spirits, and our relationships. Then we share the great contrast between life then and our life in recovery today.

This is a rhyme about five little monkeys who refused to begin a life in recovery by learning from the experience of their fellow primates. My hope is that someday there will be an end to the cycle of needless damage to bodies and souls. Someday there will be “No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” not because the last little monkey has fallen of, but because we choose to learn from each other, from those who have gone before, to accept God’s direction and power, and to opt out of destructive behavior. Any one of us can put an end to this rhyme. We can say, “This Little Monkey’s Done Jumping on the Bed!” With God’s help I can do it today!

By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, September 5, 2008

“That’s All My Plans!” – Keep it Simple

September 4, 2008 by Nannette Wiggins 1 Comment

If you know me you know that I’m a planner and a list maker. It’s an attempt, I’m sure, to keep myself in line. There probably isn’t anything inherently wrong with using a plan. A prayerfully made sketch of the day can be a great tool to help me be prepared to do the things that reinforce my life in recovery – like daily scripture study, prayer, meetings, writing, service in the work place, at church, and in the home. But, I have a love/hate relationship with my plan. My struggle begins first, when I think that the power to do, to take action, lies in the plan, and not in the Man Jesus Christ. And second, when I, in perfectionism, add addendum after addendum to the plan until it is no longer a representation of God’s will, is certainly not doable, and takes a great toll on the way I feel about myself and others.

My Granddaughter Sammy obviously watches me. She must know that I keep a daily “to do” list and a log of my activities. The other day I was sitting at the dining room table with papers spread about me. She walked over to the table with her little “Dora the Explorer” notepad and a pencil in hand. She climbed onto a large vacant chair and without addressing me she took her pencil in her little four-year-old hand, scribbled a wavy line across the page once and said, “Go swimming. Check!” She scribbled a second line and said, “Play with my Papa. Check!” She scribbled a third time and said, “After that, go home. Then after that eat. That’s all my plans.”

Sammy didn’t say a word to me, but God did. He said, “Keep it simple Nannette!”

By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, September 4, 2008

“Not My Feet Only” – Steps 6 and 7

September 3, 2008 by Nannette Wiggins Leave a Comment

I sat in Gospel Doctrine class one Sunday as we were flying through the New Testament. “So what lesson do we learn from this story?” the teacher asked.

“That we must serve as Jesus served,” came the quick answer from the audience.

That’s true, I thought, but I think there is more…

In John 13, beginning with verse 4, we read that after Jesus and His disciples finished eating their final meal together our Lord prepared Himself, poured water into a basin, and began to wash the disciples feet. He then wiped them dry with a towel He had wrapped around Himself.

As Peter’s turn came, he held himself back. He was not about to submit his filthy feet, which were covered with the streets of the city, to be washed by his Lord. Peter said to Jesus, “Thou shalt never wash my feet.” Washing feet was work of the lowliest servant. It was nothing he would allow His Lord and Master to do for him.

The Lord replied to Peter in this way, “If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me.” This single sobering statement by the Lord leveled Peter’s pride.

The idea of ending his relationship with the Lord over this thing was unthinkable, and so Peter submitted wholeheartedly by saying, “Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head.”

Even as Peter, we must each come to realize that our desire to cleanse ourselves, as noble as it might seem, does not bring us to God, but instead creates distance between us. If we want “part” with the Lord we must humbly submit to His cleansing.

The lesson Peter learned directly at the hand of the Lord, Himself, has been taught to me during my years of activity in 12 Step Recovery. The struggle in my life, which drew me to this program, was compulsive/addictive overeating. My seemingly futile battle with it had caused me to feel “unclean,” as if I too had dirty feet. The shame it caused me had gone on for years. I supposed that in order for me to feel comfortable before the Lord I would have to conquer this weakness myself (clean my own feet). However, in studying the Gospel principles represented in the 12 steps, I began to realize that I must submit my dirty feet (or unclean behavior) to the Lord, Jesus Christ. As I became willing to do so, then He would purify me.

In order for me to be clean before the Lord, I had to be willing to be made clean by the Lord, not on that far away day of reckoning, but right now, today. I could no longer postpone my coming unto the Lord with the excuse that I was standing in the shadows making myself perfect enough to have part with him. I had to step into the light, His light, where my defects were well lit, and then submit myself unto Him for His divine cleansing.

As I continue to witness His power to overcome compulsive/addictive eating and the love He has for this work of saving me, even from myself, I find myself more and more willing, even as Peter, to submit all. I am beginning to desire to honestly lay everything before Him- my guilt, my angers, my fears, my worries. With Peter, I too would cry, “Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head.”

By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday 3, 2008

Verse Six – The Verse I Wish I’d Learned – Step 12

September 2, 2008 by Nannette Wiggins Leave a Comment

In the spirit of missionary preparation, I had the impression to start memorizing the hymns of the church. So, one week I memorized the first five verses of How Firm a Foundation. On Friday I was supposed to memorize the sixth verse, which turned out to be about old age. “Well I’m not old,” I said to myself and decided to skip verse six and move right on to verse seven.

The next day I went to visit my 92-year-old grandma in a rest home. Before I left she asked me to sing her a song. I told her I had been memorizing How Firm a Foundation. As she lay there so weak, on her side, all snuggled up in a blanket for the winter of waiting, she sang every word with me, and as we rounded the bend of verse five she went right on and in her little faltering voice she sang every word of verse six (the one about old age) alone.

E’en down to old age all my people shall prove
My sov’reign eternal, unchangeable love;
And then, when gray hair shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs shall they still in my bosom be born.

The sixth verse was not about me. It was not for me. It was for her. I went back the next week to see her, and before I left, you can bet I sang her the sixth verse! I wish I could sing it to her today.

As I prepare my head and my heart to carry the message, I want to remember not to predetermine who will and who will not come my way in need of the word of the Lord. You never know who might need the sixth verse.

By Nannette W.
Written November 18, 2001
Posted Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.
This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.