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Twelve Step Reflections

Addiction Recovery, Healing, and Prevention - Notes from Nannette

  • Introduction to Recovery
  • The 12 Steps
    • Steps 1-12
    • Step 1 Honesty
    • Step 2 Hope
    • Step 3 Trust in God
    • Step 4 Truth
    • Step 5 Confession
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    • Step 7 Humility
    • Step 8 Seeking Forgiveness
    • Step 9 Restitution and Reconciliation
    • Step 10 Daily Accountability
    • Step 11 Personal Revelation
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“There’s The Killer Right There” – Putting Things Into Perspective – Steps 8 and 9

March 14, 2009 by Nannette Wiggins

I arrived at Ethan’s basketball game just in time for the forth quarter. As I entered I looked around the gym and found Ethan sitting “on the bench” (on the folding chair next to his mother). There was a tear rolling down his cheek.

“What’s goin’on buddy?” I asked as he gave me his chair and sat his sweaty little 7-year-old body down on my lap.

“The kid I’m guarding is so mean. He keeps elbowing me and he also kicked my leg. I don’t want to guard him any more.”

I thought I’d get my head in the game and see if I could pick out the big kid who was causing my grandson such anxiety. I didn’t have to wait long. The ball moved down to our end of the court and so did the ten 7-year-olds.

“There’s the killer, right there, Grandma!!!” Ethan said with passion. The “killer” was a very fair, baby faced, little blue-eyed blond kid. To me he just looked like somebody’s little boy playing his first season of basketball. His skinny little arms were raised up toward the basket hoping to get the rebound. There was absolutely nothing frightening about this little fellow.

I watched him (the killer) until Ethan was put back into the game. Then I turned my eyes to the little man I had come to watch. Ethan was guarding someone else now and boy was he ever in this kids face.

“I wouldn’t want Ethan to be guarding me!!!” I thought. I could picture the boy Ethan was guarding being the next one on the sidelines with a tear rolling down his cheek pointing out my grandson to his Grandma saying, “There’s the killer, right there!”

Steps 8 and 9 of the 12 Steps are the steps of forgiveness, reconciliation and restitution. They are the steps we take to free ourselves of cankering feelings that threaten our peace. They are the steps that help us do what ever we can to heal our relationships. One of the miracles I have experienced and heard described over and over is the miracle of being given a new perspective by the Lord, a perspective that allows us to see ourselves and the people and circumstances in our past in the light of truth.

One day the grown man, Ethan, will be sitting and watching his little 7-year-old boy play basketball. Perhaps he will remember “the killer” he had to guard that winter day in 2009. As he looks the situation over, with grown up eyes and a heart that has been touched by God, he’s going to rethink things. “Wait a minute. We were only 7. No 7 year-old is a “killer” on the court!”

It may seem like a little unimportant moment of clarity regarding a very insignificant event in Ethan’s history. However, it’s just such moments of divine perspective over time and over issues great or small that bring to pass in our lives the Savior’s promise. “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you …” (John 14:27)

By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, March 14, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

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Filed Under: Inspired by Children, Step 8 Seeking Forgiveness, Step 9 Restitution and Reconciliation

Comments

  1. Jen says

    March 19, 2009 at 9:22 pm

    My little “killer: scored 6 points at his last game and no tears were shed! Yea!!!

Meet Nannette

Nannette Wiggins | Twelve Step Reflections | http://twelvestepreflections.comHello, My Name Is Nannette, I am glad you stopped by... Read My Story

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  • BYU Women's Conference Talk: "Addiction Can Rob One of the Power to Decide"
  • World Report-Semiannual Church News Program April 2009 Addiction Recovery Program
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