I often strive to the point of strife. This strife is always counterproductive. I never seem to be able to kick and scream my way to any kind of real and lasting progress. Math and especially science that involves math has always been a struggle for me. My high school chemistry teacher was my dad. Chemistry assignments presented a tremendous challenge for me. I spent the semester being in critical need of help from my very willing, very able chemistry professor father. I never did receive the help I needed even though my Dad received the honor of being a California Teachers of the Year. He was kind and loving and able, but because I was so sure I couldn’t be helped, I never allowed him to be my personal Teacher of the Year. I spent my chemistry season in such a frenzy that I was incapable of being taught. I simply gave up.
Of course I didn’t recognize the nature of my problem until I had my children of my own who were sometimes just like me. At times they too would become so frustrated over this or that assignment, so sure they couldn’t accomplish a task, and positive that any help from me, the parent, was of no value.
Heavenly Father’s batting average is no better than my dad’s or mine when it comes to helping His kids who are convinced they are on there own. In the 12 Steps and most specifically in steps 1, 2, and 3 we learn that, “giving up” is not only necessary, but also essential to recovery and healing. How can this be?
“Giving up” has two definitions. One meaning is to lose all hope, with synonyms like despair and despond. Another meaning is to surrender one’s control completely, with synonyms like relinquish, hand over, lay down, resign, and yield.
The first manner of “giving up” (loss of hope that brings despair) is what I did in regard to chemistry and at times experienced with my own children. This kind of giving up contributes to today’s wide spread problem of depression. Depression often results from feeling we know our potential, trying to reach it, and coming face to face with our own weakness and inability to measure up. We kick and scream at ourselves, others, our surroundings, and even God and His laws. We become disillusioned with our stab at perfection. We give up all together, overwhelmed with anger, self-pity and discouragement. God is not able to help us and neither can anyone else!
The second manner of “giving up” corresponds with the ability to live in recovery, to heal and to make lasting progress. When we “give up” by surrendering and turning the part of the task we are struggling with over to God, He is able to extend grace(enabling power) in our behalf.
Today, as I face the inevitable temptation to “give up” on one God given task or another I get to choose the brand of “giving up” I want to live with. I can do my best, giving up my desire to do it myself. I can receive the help and the knowledge I need to move forward from a loving Father. It is a choice. I can choose to give up in despair or I can give up and experience what Nephi felt when He said, “yea my soul delighteth in His grace.”
By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, October 6, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
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