Today I would like to share that much of what I desire in this life is surprisingly coming to me as a gift from God rather than a goal for God.
In the book “Alcoholics Anonymous” page 8 one of the founders, Bill W. shares, “I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness in a way that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes.”
Happiness, peace, and usefulness, in great abundance, are certainly what I have always wanted and thought I was working toward. The paradoxical thing about my life today is that happiness, peace, and usefulness are no longer the focus of my desires, but they have become the byproduct applying each of the gospel centered 12 Steps and using all the tools the Lord has given me to live in daily, hourly, moment by moment connection with Him. The other day, I simply had to pause in the middle of an activity and acknowledge the peace I was feeling. I hadn’t been “working” on peace. I hadn’t set a new goal to be more at peace, but there I was feeling it. It was given to me. It was a very tangible thing like being cold or hot or tired or rested or full or hungry. I was in peace, a fact I never could have manufactured. I do desire even greater happiness, peace, and usefulness. Who doesn’t! However today I know that this cannot be my focus. In fact when I make these things my aim I begin to feel crazy inside. My experience is this – First I must come unto Christ in all the ways I know how and seek to know what He wants me to do next, then I must seek His power to do what I think He wants me to do, and finally I must take action believing that He is helping me. I am nowhere near perfect or even proficient at living this way, but when I do the happiness, peace and usefulness I obsessed over for so many years come – as gifts received from God rather than goals achieved for God.
By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, August 12, 2011
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