We turn to addictive substances and behaviors instead of turning to God, and one of the reasons we do is because we don’t think God likes us very much. Many of us start feeling bad about ourselves when we are very little, at least I did, and it doesn’t take much. I’ll never forget sitting across from my sponsor, opening up my notebook and beginning to read. “Age two,” I started, “I resented the little boys who pushed my tricycle into the gutter full of water on irrigation day and who rubbed grapes in my hair.” “Age four” I continued with trepidation “I regret going into a shed with some little boys who wanted to have a two second peek at my “backside” and then lying to my dad about it. There, I’d said it! So embarrassing!
My sponsor’s response– “Nannette, do you know any four year olds?” Four year olds? My thirty-eight year old mind scanned through all the little people I knew and loved. Tears came to my eyes. In an instant, I came to grips with the fact that this moment of immodesty, the moment that was the beginning of all future certainty that God was disappointed in me occurred when I was only four years into earth life. New perspective is one of God’s great gifts as we take Step 5, the confession step. Do you know any four year olds?
By Nannette W. Posted Tuesday, August 23, 2011
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